The INs and OUTs of 2023.

Tracey Emin, ‘it’s what i’d like to be’ (1998)

I would like to think that I am defiant in the face of the tiresome pressures of the New Year. I refuse to fall victim to the notion of entirely reinventing myself by the strike of midnight, harking the return of the 1st of January.

Personally, I prefer a more gentle approach to bringing myself to change. I see personal growth as a non-linear path that happens when you allow it to, organically and without stifling it with pressure or concern. Life already changes so abruptly and shockingly without my input, so why add anymore undue stress into the mix?

Despite this, I appreciate the dawning of the New Year for the ways it can inspire and motivate us. Sometimes, the notion of a ‘fresh start’ is exactly what is needed to inspire reflection, and ignite a sense of hope for going forward.

I am certainly a strong advocate for considering your intentions (as a substitute for the tenuous ‘resolutions’) for the approaching year. The notion of ‘intention’ is important here: it recognises that while you might actively will for something, it is not always to immediate effect as it is still subject to the twists and turns of external forces. More than this, an ‘intention’ is a vie for hope. It possesses the possibility for a change for the better, and demonstrates our participation in the process.

As a fun exercise to make light of the pressures we may feel in the New Year, and a playful way of considering my intentions for this year from last, I have compiled a list of the INs and OUTs for 2023.

It certainly isn’t as black-and-white as it may sound. Instead, this list demonstrates the little ways we can inspire a gentle sense of change and implement our intentions for the year going forward.

OUTs for 2023.

Binge watching reality TV instead of sitting with your self and your thoughts.

This upcoming year, I am making a vow to myself to stop, if not atleast substantially reduce, watching reality TV. Especially when watching reality TV acts as a distraction from thinking and engaging with myself.

The appetite for drama that reality TV creates is certainly not healthy, and in 2023 I want to possess minimal tolerance for gossip.

I long for my mind to be far too full with thoughts of little lambs, silky skirts with woollen tights, garments to knit, and what to have for dinner to be consumed even a little bit by the those who live in Chelsea and their weekly infidelities… just me?

Buying clothes without considering if your future child will get to love and cherish them.

This past year, we have all fallen victim to the clutches of Vinted. While I maintain that it is a wonderful site to find pre-loved items for kind prices, it is also the sole reason that my wardrobe is full to bursting with garments that were cheaper than they are pretty.

A fantasy of mine is to be one day regarded as the stylish mum, the type who has a treasure trove of luxury vintage and archived pieces for my children to inherit. This is only achievable through investment, consideration, and time- not rushed purchases that try and satisfy the compulsion of ‘I must buy sooomethiiing’.

2023 is the year of considered purchases and investments into garments that will be loved for generations to come.

Caring about Instagram engagement. 

2022 saw the death of Influencer Instagram as we know it. In its place is the rise of the tokened ‘casual Instagram’. Posing for a contrived insta photo of your ootd is so last last year. Long gone are the days of caring about likes and followers… and I’m not just saying this because I lose a handful of them every time I post a semi-artsy insta ahem.

I am striving to use Instagram as a realm for my authentic self expression this New Year. I mean, it shouldn’t even be taken as seriously as this, but it would certainly be a far more enjoyable experience to simply use it for fun and not for numerics.

Using the Notes app instead of real paper and pens.

A simple way to log off from the increasingly digitalised age is to go old school. So old school that we return to the lost art of… dare I say… actually writing with a pen on paper.

I’m not the only one who finds it scary to consider how much of our lives, our personalities, and our thoughts and contained within the pixels of an online existence. Though most of our lives are probably going to be contained within a Cloud one day, I do romanticise the idea of my grandchildren thumbing the various notebooks I have scrawled in and musing over my handwriting and illegible musings.

So 2023 is the year of the pen and paper. Who knows, maybe in 2024 we'll take it as far as using quills by candlelight.

Finishing books that make reading feel like an arduous task.

As an English Graduate, I can confidently say that number based reading goals and being forced to read books that didn’t spark my interest, threatened to kill the joy of reading for me.

Perhaps I am a little reckless in my approach to reading, but I find a small thrill in having multiple half-started books. If I enjoy them, I return to them. I will dip in and out of them, and some may sustain my interest if I become invested in their narrative. My attitude to reading is entirely hedonistic- and why should it be anything else?

This New Year, let’s be more experimental with the books we try and less concerned by the act of finishing them! Life is far too short to commit to a narrative or story that makes reading feel like a chore or unenjoyable process.

Allowing self doubt to restrict creative expression.

The goal for 2023 is to be in such a state of self-delusion and confidence that my creative expression is protected by the threats of looming self doubt and criticism.

Creativity should be the only thing that remains untouched by reason, logic, and especially doubt. It flourishes when treated with child-like fearlessness. It exists to be expressed and actively exercised.

We should all aim for our creativity to expand tenfold in this oncoming year, and the ways in which we express it to be boundless! This requires less criticising, and far more doing.

INs for 2023.

Embracing your own weird-ecentrically-ugly type of beautiful.

A definite IN for the New Year is the act of embracing our individual look and beauty in uniqueness. Some may say that being considered ‘pretty’ is now boring and out of fashion… but if anything, I argue that trying to conform to beauty standard’s notion of ‘pretty’ (the ever changing idea) is now boring.

Instead, the aim is to find power in the things that make you feel beautiful within yourself and celebrating your features which are eccentric and so incredibly your own.

Writing in your diary as if you are recording every detail of your life for your future archives and auto-biographies. 

As 2023 is the year of pen and paper, it stands to reason that it should also be the year of the diary.

I mean ‘diary’ in its most serious, fully-committal sense. This isn’t just a diary with dates to remember and random thoughts, but instead a Diary with every single last ounce of what is contained in your brain. I mean, its important for your future fame, success, and the ease of the authors writing your autobiography etc. etc. etc. …

But in all seriousness, to unpick your thoughts through the art of diary writing is a therapeutic and creative exercise which is a great habit to implement for the upcoming year.

Spending days at bookshops.

Not to sound pretentious, but there is definitely something to be said for the enjoyable sensory experience of going to a bookshop. The smell of their fresh pages, and the sight of the spectrum of their multicoloured covers is nothing short of a treat.

Considering that 2022 presented the Tiktok trend of pottery painting as the new favoured wholesome daytime activity, suggesting a day at the bookshop isn’t ludicrous!

Bookshops are hubs for peace, quiet, and gentle inspiration. What’s more, they contain so much within them that you can definitely find a good few hours’ worth of entertainment between their walls.

In 2023, let’s give more time to being in the forgotten corners of quietness and Culture.

Creating your own dress code.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice: there is always an excuse to wear exactly what you want, when you want to. If this year is the year of our authentic self expression and creative experimentation, it has never been a better time to dress for yourself with no judgement!

Allowing yourself to take time and for things to pass slowly.

Looking back, 2022 passed by in a blink. I feel somewhat at fault for this as I definitely wished by periods of mundanity and difficulty, urging them to go quickly and for time to push on rapidly. However, the thing that has been left in their place is my larger fear of the fleeting nature of time. I would rather allow myself to sit steadily in these moments than to ever wish time away again!

This is certainly something we can all intend for in 2023: to take our time. Really, what is all the big rush about? Why is there such an overwhelming sense of urgency?

2023 can take its time, and I will make sure I do too. I want moments to pass as if they are in slow motion so I can really squeeze them for all that they are worth and ensure I miss no detail.